The Feathers

“Did you arrive by car or are you just a walk up” the barman asked us as we stomped into the Public House looking cold and all in mud covered boots.  “People who arrive by car usually make a reservation”, said the barman without any prompting from us.  Not understanding the logic we meekly requested a table anyway and were shown a pleasant setting in a sunny nook away from the fire side.  It was a sunny day, at last, after a week of snow and ice and we welcomed the pale warmth of the sun.  Unfortunately the open fire wasn’t lit; “we’ve run out of wood” explained the barman.  Further unfathomable logic as this PH is located on the edge of an expansive forest.

Suzy & I with my brother Kim (in London for the weekend) had trudged up the hill from Bourne End through frozen paddocks and pathways strewn with fallen leaves.  We had arrived a little early, midday being the appointed hour of opening.  Seeing the lights on but nobody home, we peered through the small framed windows and a face peered back with an accompanying gesticulating finger which we understood to mean; “kindly take a seat in the comfortable outdoor furniture we have graciously provided and we will open shortly”.  We did as suggested and at a few moments to 1200hrs, the car park suddenly filled and the persons who had “arrived by car”, and they all filed inside.  By the time we got organised and got in the door, the place was full to overflowing.

We ordered drinks and then food after I had read the papers and Suzy & Kim explored the rest of the pub.  The food came promptly and was excellent, if significantly overpriced, in our view.  Suzy & Kim had Ham Hock terrine with piccalilli and I had a tasty Parsnip soup with crusty bread.  The bar is a large oak construction with carved features and with a brass top.  Bitter beer served is Rebellion Smuggler, Rebellion IPA, London Pride and lagers are; Heineken, Becks, Peroni, Bulmers Cider and of course Guinness.  We noted that a bottle of Stoneleigh pinot was selling for £18.95 (NZ$39.70)!

The Feathers PH is located opposite the main gate of Cliveden, the stately home frequented by Christine Keeler & Mandy Rice-Davies in the days of yore, and who were among the main players in the “Profumo Affair”, a real life MI5 espionage scandal from the sixties; not that that has any relevance on the current quality of the ale or food; and is about as relevant as Enid Blyton living next door to the Spade Oak (and you always wondered where she got her inspiration from).

In retaliation for the barman’s supercilious attitude upon our arrival, Kim told him that he had blocked the loo (no malice intended, must have been the Qantas food).  The barman received this important piece of information with the disdain it deserved and we promptly left after paying.

The Feathers is a comfortable but pricey (for us) PH with an expansive outdoor area.  It also has a pleasant upstairs area provided you remained seated or are very short.  There are a few really nice nooks scattered throughout.  This PH would be perfect on a warm summers afternoon and we must go back there (if they’ll let us in) when we can afford it, or somebody we know turns up with an expense account.